Normal

You grow up and realize something
What one has another does not
What he believes she may not
Everyone has their own definition of normal
Screaming and rage may be apart of theirs, but not yours
Some full of love
And others not so much
Lies may have ripped some apart
Secrets that remain hidden and others out may fill ones
Loss that made some lose hop and hate the world
My normal is not normal
It consists of lots of love
Jokes and pestering show it
Protectiveness proves it
This normal is mine and may or may not be yours
But what exactly is normal?
Is it red puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks,
Times when some cried till no more tears came?
Or is it the "perfect" family?
A married mother and father who love each other and their children,
Or are divorced families normal these days?
Maybe I don't want to be your normal
And I want to be mine
Beach nights and all-nighters, full of laughter
Photo adventures and movie nights
Odd clothes that express how I'm feeling that exact day
Dorky glasses that serve no purpose
One day your normal could be odd or strange
And the next day mine could be the right way
Normal is never normal
Maybe you hate your normal,
Look on the brightside
Normal is always changing

Unforgotten Memories

My smile has become too heavy to keep up all day long, they weight of it is slowly bringing me down
Life is a stage, everyone has their part, no switching is allowed the play would just be ruined
I can’t seem to play mine well anymore, you’re not there to help me along with the little things I tend to forget
I have to grow up quicker cause the responsibilities you took on for me are now going on unattended
No one comes to me when I fall ready to pick me up or help mend a sore
No longer does your laugh fill the now empty gray rooms when a tiny disagreement surfaces
Who can I run to now that you’re gone, I just seem to walk in circles of confusion and darkness
No one tucks me in at night, only you ever did
Tears and hurt aren’t too hard to hide after so many years of practice
The beach doesn’t have the same zest it had without you there taking a picture as we smile
What if I forget about you?
Putting on a mask of happiness is just so routine now
Your loving arms can no longer pull me into a hug
I don’t go to anyone with my problems, I just try to fix them myself, practice makes perfect, right?
I don’t think I’ll ever fill the hole you left
Why did you have to leave so early in life, it’s just not fair
Nothing is ever going to be the same again
When I call for you no one answers, my voice seems lost in silence
It’s not like I can look for you
I just want a small cup of happiness like the ones you unknowingly put in front of me
Memories only make me grin for so long
This is nothing like I planned
The hole you left can’t be fixed with band aids, they just fall off
Staples always seem to come undone
Life is unfair and must go on, but fake smiles can only get me through for so long

It's Not Gossip if it's the Truth

Put me in a hotel suite, motels are only downtown
They say what they want and don’t listen to the truth
Only seeing what they want and can’t see anything that isn’t skin deep
Brand names plastered all over you is all they are going to see, sorry honey
Their gazes seem to be blank and relentless
All those distractions you used don’t seem to put them at ease anymore, you don’t seem to be hiding from them anymore
All they want is gossip in immense quantities
Your secrets are no longer hidden, whispering isn’t keeping them from spreading here all the way to over there
All your words are being twisted and turned, nothing you say is being received the came way
All this drama seems to be destroying friends and only creating enemies
Do you see how your reoccurring dream slowly morphed into a nightmare, that is creeping into your reality?
Small mistakes are being magnified no one can miss words printed on a billboard
Everyone’s minuscule mind is only wired to find fault, being judgmental is in their blood
Who were you?
Forget about the person you once were this is a mess you have created, they were your mistakes in the first place
I’m pretty sure you’re no longer trustworthy honey, even your family has realized this
Your words can’t fix this mess
All these “lies” have altered their view, you aren’t a fake anymore, your mask has been removed
Maybe those lies they told were only the truth, you don’t seem to know you anymore
The mirror reflects the person they say you are, maybe you have always been this way
Were you just a picture in your imagination and they have revealed the actual you?
This must be who you are, no one else believes the old you was true
All their lies became truth
Or maybe it just always was the truth, you just never saw it behind that thick mask they took off of you

Forever really means never

Whispers much to loud to be clandestine
You'd see the dark silhouette
Like a falcon trying to find its lost falconer
Girls in storybooks don't really exist
I've lost my voice, but did it ever matter
Do you ever listen to your heart?
Mine only feeds me lies
I'm going to disappear become invisible
Will you miss me when I'm gone?
Or will it be like now, moving too fast to see
I promise I'll miss you, it's not a lie
Will you remember our laughs and fun?
Leaves fall in the autumn months
Painted and written all over
It's burned at the edges
Ink dripping away, words lost in air
Safes filled with bittersweat memories
No longer lost in that happy dream
Awakened by harsh reality
I'll bid you farewell, maybe you'll hear
I'll miss you when I'm gone
Will you miss me?
I'll never know

can you tell I don't like him???

I heal others' wounds and leave my own unstitched
My heart is dedicated to beating and nothing more
You're like a child, you ignore reality
His secret is out, i know you heard it
This should be hell for you, but you don't seen to see it
It's obvious he doesn't love you
Why do you let lies pass all around you?
Keep living by your routine
You pretend to have a great relationship
He says he loves you
I love you means nothing coming from a liar
Nothing will make him actually love you
Staples come undone, it already fell to the ground
You can't get hurt if you trick yourself into believing a bunch of bull
Newsflash: actions speak louder than words
Heartbreak or heartache, you get one or the other
you're in a lose lose situation, doll
don't for get I heal others wounds, I'll do the same for yours
You tune out what I say
You deserve better
If love is a circle going round and around
Why is yours shaped like a square?
This "love" kinda makes me wanna gag
He doesn't love you
You only love him cause he knows how to lie
I've been told to stay out of it
Heard it's not my place to talk
I can't help it, I love you

your lullaby

Walking around late at night
Your mind full of random nonsense (thoughts you can’t sort)
The rhythm of/ your sleepless nights
Have come to say their last goodbyes
Stop tossing and turning, listen to what I have to say
Toss your Ambien down the drain
It’s a waste of money and only makes you groggy
Ill be your personal sandman
You’ll sleep like the dead
Still and motionless
This is your lullaby
Ill sing you to sleep
Goodbye
Let my words carry you to/ never land, just/ dream (and)
Tuck yourself in,/ hold your pillow tight
It’s already past midnight
And your attitude isn’t much fun when I’m callin for you
Ill be your chronic insomnias cure baby, I’ll teach you when to sleep and how
Stop wishing for sleep, cuz eyes wide open don’t help anything at all
Close your heavy eyes and turn your mind off
Let your worries and doubts fade away
I’ll sing you this lullaby one last time
I’ll sing you to sleep
On those dreamless nights
To a land of perfection
This is your lullaby
I’ll put you to sleep
Let life fade into the distance
As you enter neverland I want to say
Sweet dreams

these things are true

This whole thing was flawed from the beginning
You clung to me like some kind of magnet
I began to find many things I did not like about you
You have overstayed your welcome
Do you get what I’m saying?
I really do feel bad about this
I paid stuff for you, we were good friends
Simple things turned into arguments
Why can’t you act your age for just a night?
Can you cover yourself up a tad, not everyone wants to see all of that skin
I’m really not proud of myself
Ripping you to shreds behind your back
I feel like a jerk for saying these things
But I can’t ignore how I feel about you
Must you bring her everywhere we go?
Can you even function without her?
She is always uninvited
I once thought you were awesome
You could say we were siblings
Now nothing but strangers
I really feel bad about it all
But I grew up and you didn’t
You care so much and I couldn’t care less
It’s sad, just give up on it like I did
I can’t handle you anymore
Later, I’m leaving